Interesting. My parents were married for 55 years before my Dad passed away. So I was brought up in a traditional home except that my Dad raised me to NEVER rely on a man and to only stay with one because I loved my life with him.
I kept hearing about Cosmo while in college so in 1982 I broke down and bought a copy. I remember it had a special cover on it because the woman on the front was too scantily clad for public viewing. I read it cover to cover over the next few weeks. I kept sighing and putting it down because even as a single, very independent woman living on my own, I found most of the opinions to be contrary to what I believed and experienced.
I should point out that I was living on my own, no dorm, no roommate and no help from parents because I had defied my fathers wishes by not returning to Germany after a visit to the US and he was hoping that without his financial assistance I would be forced into returning home and attending the University of Maryland. That never happened and my Dad was proud of me.
I never wanted children and never had any. I was married to the most wonderful man God ever created and was devastated when he died of a sudden heart attack. Although I had sex outside of marriage it was few and far between. I am going on 63 and have “known” 4 men in my lifetime. Sex to me was almost a sacred act and I was very selective. Men who took issue with that while I was dating were sent packing. “This is the good tablecloth” I told them. “This table is only set for very special people who have proved their worthiness “.
Needless to say, that one copy of Cosmo was the only one I read. I have female friends who absolutely treat sex like a big buffet, trying various offerings and sometimes not going back for seconds. Several of them think marriage is simply a way to keep women submissive and catering to men. It’s a topic they know we will never see eye to eye on so we just agree to disagree.
I made very good money before, during and after my husband’s death which allowed me a very comfortable and accordingly to some a bit extravagant lifestyle. So no, I don’t need a man for children or money but even now, 17 years after his passing, I would give up everything I have to get more time with the one I had. Why did I never remarry? Because I don’t need a man badly enough to settle for less than what I deserve. I guess I am a bit of an anomaly but that’s ok, it’s been that way since childhood. No regrets.
Thanks for your comment, Rosemary. There is a lot to unpack. I'm glad you saw through Cosmo's harmful messages. Your analogy comparing sex to a buffet was very clever. Marriage as a way to keep women subservient is bizarre. The vast majority of women in the past were born to be subservient; your friends should be thankful they live in a genuinely liberated time. Marriage happens to be universal. It protected them in the rugh and tumble past. I suspect they affect that attitude to seem trendy. So sorry about your husband's death. I know another woman who was happily married to a good guy, but he died of a heart attack during a softball game. My best friend from college lost the love of his life to cancer when she was 57. He was crushed and never recovered. I know it's a cliche' but life IS unfair.
Interesting. My parents were married for 55 years before my Dad passed away. So I was brought up in a traditional home except that my Dad raised me to NEVER rely on a man and to only stay with one because I loved my life with him.
I kept hearing about Cosmo while in college so in 1982 I broke down and bought a copy. I remember it had a special cover on it because the woman on the front was too scantily clad for public viewing. I read it cover to cover over the next few weeks. I kept sighing and putting it down because even as a single, very independent woman living on my own, I found most of the opinions to be contrary to what I believed and experienced.
I should point out that I was living on my own, no dorm, no roommate and no help from parents because I had defied my fathers wishes by not returning to Germany after a visit to the US and he was hoping that without his financial assistance I would be forced into returning home and attending the University of Maryland. That never happened and my Dad was proud of me.
I never wanted children and never had any. I was married to the most wonderful man God ever created and was devastated when he died of a sudden heart attack. Although I had sex outside of marriage it was few and far between. I am going on 63 and have “known” 4 men in my lifetime. Sex to me was almost a sacred act and I was very selective. Men who took issue with that while I was dating were sent packing. “This is the good tablecloth” I told them. “This table is only set for very special people who have proved their worthiness “.
Needless to say, that one copy of Cosmo was the only one I read. I have female friends who absolutely treat sex like a big buffet, trying various offerings and sometimes not going back for seconds. Several of them think marriage is simply a way to keep women submissive and catering to men. It’s a topic they know we will never see eye to eye on so we just agree to disagree.
I made very good money before, during and after my husband’s death which allowed me a very comfortable and accordingly to some a bit extravagant lifestyle. So no, I don’t need a man for children or money but even now, 17 years after his passing, I would give up everything I have to get more time with the one I had. Why did I never remarry? Because I don’t need a man badly enough to settle for less than what I deserve. I guess I am a bit of an anomaly but that’s ok, it’s been that way since childhood. No regrets.
Thanks for your comment, Rosemary. There is a lot to unpack. I'm glad you saw through Cosmo's harmful messages. Your analogy comparing sex to a buffet was very clever. Marriage as a way to keep women subservient is bizarre. The vast majority of women in the past were born to be subservient; your friends should be thankful they live in a genuinely liberated time. Marriage happens to be universal. It protected them in the rugh and tumble past. I suspect they affect that attitude to seem trendy. So sorry about your husband's death. I know another woman who was happily married to a good guy, but he died of a heart attack during a softball game. My best friend from college lost the love of his life to cancer when she was 57. He was crushed and never recovered. I know it's a cliche' but life IS unfair.
Sex does not make people happy. Love makes people happy. A whole magazine devoted to lying about that.
Yes, exactly.