REACH OUT AND TOUCH SOMEONE

Every so often, we need to take a break from “news” which is invariably negative, in order to focus on the positive.    

 In the beginning, there was God.  God stretched out his hand and extended his finger.  Adam stretched his hand up and extended a finger.  They touched; God infused Adam with life.  At least that’s the way Michelangelo depicted it on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel – a fitting representation because touch is so vital to human life.

 Dateline: Las Vegas – A six-year-old-boy who had been locked in a dark room for most of his life had the mental and emotional development of a ten-month-old baby.  “What he wants,” said the AP article, “is to be constantly held or hugged, and he runs from one adult to another, arms outstretched for the affection he apparently missed.”

Touching is life-giving and as necessary for existence as food.  In a series of shattering observations, Dr. Rene Spitz noted that thirty-four of ninety-one infants in an orphanage died within a three-year period. The babies were well cared for and well-fed.  What they lacked was attention, hugging and a mother’s care.

In another shocker, Dr. Thomas Verny reported that premature babies in incubators who were given just five minutes of a loving touch every hour for ten days, “gained more weight faster, grew more quickly, and were more robust than infants who were not touched.”

 On the positive side, evidence also suggests that those who are adequately touched as infants have higher IQs, experience less stress and are happier and better adjusted than those who do not get enough touching.  Infants must be touched.  For thousands of years, people have known that dilated pupils make an individual more attractive.  Why does nature do this?  Because when mother is nearby, baby’s pupils dilate, making him cuter and more likely to be cuddled.  Zoologist, Desmond Morris wrote, “Any inborn signal [babies] can emit that makes them unavoidably more lovable will obviously have increased their survival chances…”  It also affects adults.  If you are out on a first date, and the person across the table has dilated pupils, it means she likes you because her larger pupils make her look more attractive.  

Although touching is vital for infants, it has sometimes been overrated for adults.

·       Family therapist Helen Colton would like to “make the greeting ritual of a sensually free society, stroking of each other’s cheeks when we say hello and goodbye.”  (Okay, fair enough, but I hope I never meet Mike Tyson.)

·       In 1984, the mayor of Tulsa, Oklahoma proclaimed the week of November 18^th Hug Week. An organizer explained that studies have shown that hugging “relieves many physical and emotional problems and can help people live longer, maintain health, relieve stress and promote sleep.”

·       Perhaps the greatest proselytizer for hugging was pop psychologist Leo Buscaglia who made a religion – and a million – from hugging.  Psychologist Bernie Zilbergeld is skeptical.  “Leo,” he wrote, “attributes almost mystical powers to touching and hugging” but, “all the love and hugs in the world are insufficient to help most drug addicts stop poisoning themselves, to stop some depressed people from killing themselves, or to keep some marriages together…”

 In spite of all that, touching can be a life-giving force.   Researchers at Purdue University asked library clerks to alternately touch and not touch the hands of students returning books.  Although the touching went on for half a second and went unnoticed most of the time, touched students reported happier and more positive feelings about themselves.  The telephone company’s original slogan,  “Reach out and touch someone,” was brilliant because it dealt with a basic human need.

Consider the powerful and poignant example of Lee Atwater.

 At thirty-seven he was a professional caliber guitar player, George H.W. Bush’s campaign manager, ad avid jogger and was, in his own words, “a fierce and ugly campaigner.”  In March, 1990, Atwater was struck down by an inoperable brain tumor.  He fought it with characteristic aggressiveness. “Damn it,” he said.  “I’m not going to let this thing beat me! I am Lee Atwater, and I am not going to die.”  A year later, near death, he wrote the following in Life Magazine.

          I lie here in my bedroom my face swollen from steroids, my body

          useless and in pain.  I will probably never play the guitar or run again;

          I can only hope to walk…some nights I can’t go to sleep, so fearful

           am I that I will never wake up again.”

What did he learn from his suffering?  He learned that because time is precious, he should it wisely and well; he learned that people are necessary for life, and that hostility is worthless. 

          I’ve come a long way since the day I told George Bush that his

        “kinder, gentler” theme was a nice thought, but wouldn’t win us

         any votes.   I used to say that the President might be kinder and

         gentler, but I wasn’t going to be.  How wrong I was.  There is nothing

        more important in life than human beings, nothing sweeter than the

         human touch.”

A few weeks later, Lee Atwater, age forty, was dead.

Reach out and touch someone… before it’s too late.